Download E-books Paradise Screwed: Selected Columns of Carl Hiaasen PDF
By Carl Hiaasen
"Takes readers on a head-shaking romp via a south Florida that they may not locate in any vacationer brochure. . . . Hiaasen's writing is courageous and the goals never-ending: politicians, municipal staff, judges, lobbyists, zoning forums, evangelists, athletic franchises, environmental scofflaws, Disney, the NRA, mammoth Tobacco. . . . Pulls no punches and retains his humorousness and outrage firmly intact."--Publishers Weekly
"These sharp, a laugh items ensure Hiaasen's prestige as a poultry so rare--the funny renowned novelist with an acutely severe social perspective--that he is essentially an endangered species."--Kirkus Reviews
"He writes approximately politics and politicians, crime and criminals, usual humans and striking humans, and many simply simple south Florida weirdness. . . . besides Kick Ass, this is without doubt one of the top collections of occasional journalism released in contemporary years."--Booklist (starred review)
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Extra resources for Paradise Screwed: Selected Columns of Carl Hiaasen
TAX funds AT paintings S ninety nine Now we’re to think that issues could be rosier in dwelling house. perhaps it’ll be effortless promoting 65,000 seats for a Grand Prix in South Dade. perhaps cats will develop antlers, too. dwelling house recognizes that, if sales fall brief, the bond funds might be taken from the overall fund. So what you’ve acquired is the ingeniously irresponsible scheme of utilizing public utilities as collateral for a privately operated racetrack. certainly, Metro commissioners will be enlisted as companions, given their old willingness to suck as much as activities promoters. by no means brain that there are wiser, higher makes use of for the mattress tax. Sanchez is banking that commissioners, having poured hundreds of thousands into the tune, are too red-faced to close off the tap. There’s no cause to imagine the speedway’s ticket won’t jump above $51 million, way past Homestead’s modest capability to hide the bonds. Then search for Metro to take over. whereas a number of commissioners appear perturbed via the runaway racetrack finances, so much will most likely vote to bail out Sanchez over again. in terms of activities giveaways, politicians can regularly ﬁnd the money, and not ﬁnd the brakes. those that vote extra taxes for the speedway need to have a tire shack named of their honor. may possibly 2, 1999 A employee OF MIRACLES and also you idea your vehicle used to be a fuel hog. think of the Jeep Grand Cherokee pushed by means of Miami Commissioner Tomas Regalado, and paid for through urban taxpayers. among February 1998 and March 1999, Regalado supposedly pumped 2,355 gallons of fuel into this parched pig. each drop of gasoline used to be bought on the similar Amoco station on Coral method, utilizing a urban bank card. to give an explanation for the extraordinary $2,652 fuel invoice, Regalado stated he “drives a lot’’ for his urban tasks. in truth, his motoring behavior problem the boundaries of credulity, the legislation of physics—and even simple mathematics. A Grand Cherokee holds 23 gallons. but, in keeping with Regalado’s receipts, on a dozen events he miraculously controlled to pump extra fuel into his automobile than it’s designed to carry. Makes you ask yourself what he may perhaps do with ﬁve loaves of bread. S a hundred Paradise SCREWED Then there’s the mileage discrepancy. The EPA says the five. 9-liter Grand Cherokee averages approximately fourteen miles to the gallon. Regalado says his will get a measly nine. utilizing both the excessive or the low ﬁgure, in response to documented gasoline intake, Regalado’s odometer should exhibit among 3,200 and 16,000 extra miles than it does. What explains this secret hole? maybe the commissioner cruises his district whereas riding in opposite, thereby taking mileage off the odometer. or even some other person in his kinfolk is borrowing the city’s Amoco card for his or her personal vehicle—a recommendation Regalado strongly denies. He says he’s the one person who touches the bank card. So we're left to think about this astoundingly thirsty Jeep, which (if Regalado is being fair) required 4 ﬁll-ups final August twenty sixth. Jeff Gordon may well get via an entire Daytona 500 with out that many. Regalado’s overall payload that day: sixty five. 7 gallons. looking on which mileage estimate you suspect, that’s sufficient fuel to take a Cherokee six hundred to 900 miles—all of it supposedly racked up in a space basically 31 blocks lengthy and fifty eight blocks vast.